Repition
by Soulreciever
Summary: Sakurazukamori Subaru has lived 16 long years since the Rainbow Bridge collapsed, some times acting, sometimes watching but mostly hiding within the shadow of his heart. Then he meets a shaddow from his past and things begin to change. Slash
1. Sketches

: (Repetition.) 

1. sketches

T: This idea savaged me while I was at work and though I'm not too sure where I'm going with this I can promise that you won't be bored! Warnings of angst and slash…my usual cocktail in other words! Set 16 yrs after the collapse of the Rainbow Bridge and following my own conclusion to the battle between the Kamui's

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The last he had truly been one with himself…truly been Subaru rather than Sakurazukamori…had been the moment before his world had turned inside out.

He can recall the burning anger that had been in his heart that day…can recall the chill of the air and how very warm _his_ hand had felt as it had wrapped about his own.

The anger had mixed with desire then…desire both for this other and for the fulfilment of his darkest, truest, want.

They had fought, such was inevitable always now when they come together, yet this time had been different.

He had known it as he had felt illusionary branches cease about his skin and wishing strongly now for a conclusion he had broken this bind.

He recalls jumping, recalls the whistle of the wind in his ears and the sudden sharp certainty that this was it.

Hand had torn flesh and about them the Keki had crumbled.

For a brief moment he had believed his wish fulfilled…believed himself on the edge of death and then, slowly, he had registered the location of his hand.

After that he recalls only the bitter sweat scent of the other and those final, terrible, words before he had drifted into oblivion.

He knows, somewhere in the heart of him, that he lingered to talk to Kamui…lingered long enough in hopes of stopping the boy from making his mistakes and then…

He believes that he wondered aimless from landmark to landmark, searching for one he had not then believe dead and yet even of this he can not be certain.

For all that came before the garden and that final gift has long since faded from his memory, the importance of that time between selves having faded over the years.

Indeed less he is in the mood to dwell he does not think much now on his time as Sakurazukamori within those final days of The Year of Destiny.

For thinking of those times leads always to the thought of their conclusion.

He had moved about a great deal after that conclusion, returning to Tokyo only to replenish the tree before he had moved on again.

He had pretended to be someone else in those other places, enjoyed the freedom of this anonymity…the detachment.

Sometimes he had caught himself doodling inverse pentagrams into the margins of newspapers or onto napkins in restaurants.

He had learned that this was a sign that he had lingered too long in one place…that he had settled enough into his new routine that he had begun to dwell.

There had been one occasion when he had caught himself with a knife held over the skin of the back of his left hand, the significance of this shaking him enough that he had left the continent all together.

A little after that his new life and his old had crossed and he had been forced to expose himself, at last, to the woman who had once been his grandmother.

There had been recognition deep within her eyes and yet externally she had treated him simply as stranger…no, not stranger, but rather, _enemy_.

He had known then that he could never return, that he was now as he was and that had been when he had truly stopped caring… when he had finally given himself over completely to the emotionless of the Sakurazukamori.

He had moved less, after that and though sometimes he would catch himself etching that shape still onto an available surface, the act had now lost its significance.

He began, again, to familiarise himself with the odd complexity that was Tokyo…with the two faces of that city.

The bright vibrant face that it showed always in the daylight; the edge of Tokyo that lived as a heartbeat, constant and strong, its rhythm increasing on occasion, perhaps even one day stopping entirely.

The murky, depressive face that it showed only in the moonlight; the edge of Tokyo that was as a shadow, hidden and skulking, it's path silent always until it struck in a blinding scream and all became crimson.

Once, far too long ago, he had existed in the sunlight of Tokyo, unaware of how lucky he was to exist within that vibrancy.

Now…now he was the shadows and though he had attempted to fit himself back into Tokyo's other world he knew he could never do as such again…knew that it would never be anything other than pretend.

Despite this he could not deny the want to be in the sunlight, to maintain the pretence that he belonged there.

Illusion was an art that he had perfected over the years and yet it had not become the thing he was best at…no that honour was reserved for his ability to seduce whoever he wished with an unstoppable certainty.

He had no confidence in the notion that he was attractive and this disregard for his beauty, combined with the edge of the exotic that his eyes gave him, was as a draw.

It was as a game to him now; a game to seduce his intended victims with his beauty and make them believe that he cared, make them drop their guard, before he struck.

He knew, of course, that this was precisely how _he_ had treated him, yet he could not now bring himself to care.

Today he was dressed in a deep charcoal suit, purchased specifically for this target and tailored so well that it fit him almost as a second skin.

The man he was hunting was sat two tables across from him and he knew that already he was gaining an interest from the man.

Smiling to himself he gestured the waitress over and making two requests of her he settled back to watch the show.

The gentleman he was watching…Maki Hichigo, he recalled belatedly…seemed a little flustered when the waitress brought him over a bottle of their most expensive wine, this embarrassment fading as she gestured over to his table.

Maki-san pours himself a glass, tips it in his direction and then points to the empty seat at his table.

He takes the offer a settling into the empty chair he says,

"Thank you for the invite."

"After such a gift how could I not invite you over?" He smiles and says, "I am Maki Hichigo."

"Sakurazuka Subaru." He replies, his face falling into a kindly and slightly enticing smile.

"I have seen you here a few times before, have I not?"

"Indeed you have. I stumbled upon this place once after work and I have never looked back since."

"What enticed you to come back? For me it was their divine pastries."

"For me it was their coffee, no where else can get it quite as bitter as they can."

Maki-san seems to find something amusing in this statement for he breaks into laughter, his stance relaxing as he does as such.

The next question the man poses is a more casual one and he takes his cue from this, relaxing his manner and responding to Maki-san's questions with a false honesty that draws the man in.

Maki-san soon finds confidence and places a causal hand to his knee before leaning forwards and posing a very personal question.

He is about to reply to the positive when his eyes spot a figure passing by the café window.

It is a boy of no more than 16, nothing remarkable about him apart from the startling resemblance he holds to _him_.

His throat dries and he apologises the best he can to Maki-san before he dashes out onto the street.

The boy is only a little before him and a plan working swiftly in his mind he leaps up onto the rooftops.

He comes again to ground but a little before the boy and very deliberately walks into his path.

They crash and instantly he is apologetic, offering the boy a hand back onto his feet.

His eyes are mismatched in hue, the right a pail green while the left is a muted hazel…indeed but for this slight difference in colouring they are a mirror for his own.

This the boy sees also, for his eyes widen a little as they meet his and then he catches himself and they fall to regard something behind his 'rescuer'.

"Thank you." The boy remarks, his voice so akin to that recalled within his memory.

"It was my fault to begin with." He responds and then, because he can not yet let this living ghost from his side he enquires,

"Would you like to join me for a little tea, or have you somewhere else to go?"

The boy seems hesitant, most likely for his forwardness, but still he replies,

"No, I do not have anywhere else to be and yes, I will join you for tea."

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T: _He_ is Seishiro, in case anyone was in any doubt. Well that's the first chapter and as you can tell it's going to be another slow burner. Hopefully the next chapter should be up Sunday, but it all depends on how far I get in inking out chapter three…keep your fingers crossed! Oh and R+R authoresses survive on praise, afterall!


	2. Games

2. Games.

T: For fear of loosing my story I will not be replying to my reviewers directly this time round, but thank you guys for the support and never fear I shall answer your worries and your questions as we go on! One thing of note from this chapter onwards _italics _represents a flash back into the past, precisely when and where will be defined within the flashback. Warnings are still the same and sadly I still fail in the ability to claim responsibility to these guys.

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_There had only ever been one future and though they had tried vainly to steer things away from that eventually, it had come to pass anyway. _

_For the true Wish of the Kamui of the dragons of heaven had prevented it from being any other way…had forced onto them that one final conclusion._

_The other Kamui had told him that that Wish was to die at his hands, both in a hope of restoring Fuuma back to himself and in protecting the fragility of Tokyo._

_In the latter he had succeeded whole-heartedly and none of those who had been uninvolved in the Final Battle had known the danger they were under. _

In the first… 

_The Sakurazukamori had been there at the Final Battle, part of him watching as one might a play or a television show and another part hoping against hope that the true Kamui would succeed._

_Yet the Shinken of that Kamui had shattered and, almost at snails pace, he had fallen, with out weapon, onto the blade of his Twin Star._

_Final words had been exchanged between the two and the Sakurazukamori had waited for Armageddon._

_Tokyo had not fallen…the world had not faltered and the boy known once as Fuuma Monu had come to stand at his side, his hands soaked crimson with the blood of his other self._

"_The future has come." He remarks, his voice still a deadpan and yet there is something else there also now._

"_You wished it otherwise, didn't you?" The other smiles in a humourless fashion and replies,_

"_Yes, for I loved him and had thought that he would survive…that he would find it in himself to destroy me."_

"_You regret that he did not know these things, that he believed your Wish something other than it was."_

"_That is true and I can not be surprised that you would see such a thing…"_

_Unspoken is the thought that the Sakurazukamori can see such things for he has lived them…has become numb for the hurt of these things._

_The Kamui of the Dragons of Earth touches his heart and remarks, randomly,_

"_He shall live on in me."_

The Sakurazukamori starts awake with those bitter words clear still in his mind.

He had not thought of Fuuma or of the time after Kamui's death for ten long years and he had believed that those times were done with haunting him.

It was the boy, that he knew beyond doubt and yet even should he begin to recall more of that terrible time…even should he again be presented with recollections of a time further back he would not let the child go…

Could not.

It had been so eerie, the boys every movement, every vocal inflection and every like had been as that of the man the Sakurazukamori had loved…no…loved still.

In fact it was almost as a perfect replica of the Year of the Bet but for one thing.

He was now Sakurazukamori and the child before him had been the innocent, unsuspecting, victim…

Thoughts such as that were warrant to lead him to trouble…warrant to head him down paths he had no care for and into the murkier depths of the imagination.

Lead to questions he did not want to dwell on and, worst of all, lead to the thought of those last words.

He realises, a moment before it becomes too late, that he is dwelling and that he was doing the one thing he had thought to avoid.

He showers in ice cold water, the shock of the chill enough to clear away the last of the murkiness.

He dresses today in soft pink, the hue adding an extra touch of the feminine to his appearance and yet he knows this acts as a lure on occasions…knows that only the deep crimson hue of blood suits him better.

Maki-san's daily routine is mapped clear in his mind and he plans his day so that at lunchtime they bump into one another.

"Sakurazuka-san?" The other enquires as he spots him amid the other diners.

"Maki-san, what an unexpected surprise. Please, come and join me, I have a want to apologise for my sudden departure and for a little company."

The other takes the offer for company gladly and settles into the chair opposite before he says,

"You do not have to rationalise yesterday, Sakurazuka-san…we had only just truly met and I got a little…forward…" The other is blushing and it brings a youth to his features, which is appealing in a clinical kind of manner.

"No, not forward at all, indeed you have been a little slow for me…I have watched you since the first day I saw you, after all." The man's blush deepens at this, a pleasant smile now on his face that informs that he has been caught and caught well.

"I saw my younger brother through the window and I had a want to know why he was so far from home at such a late hour."

"I see…is everything alright at home?"

"Kasan had another of her turns and she sent Yama to look for me…thank fully I got to her before it became serious and she's all but normal again now."

"I am glad…I do not suppose you would care to join me for a walk? I have a half day today and as I'm all alone at home…"

"It just so happens that I have also a half day and so I will gladly join you one I have finished this coffee."

They talk as they are walking, Maki-san constantly beginning a topic of conversation and listening, with wide-eyed anticipation, to his answers.

He is wrapped deep in the weaving of his illusion and thus does not take not of their course until it become too late.

Maki-san has brought him to the foot of the Rainbow Bridge…

Since that time he has revisited all of the landmarks of his past, has faced all the memories lurking within stone and concrete…all but those that linger within this particular structure.

Maki-san sees well his hesitancy and enquires,

"What is the matter, Sakurazuka-san? Do you not care for the beauty of the lights?"

"No…no, it is not that…the lights are indeed beautiful."

"Then why have you stopped so suddenly?" He enquires as he steps a little closer, "You are shaking and you have gone so white…"

"Long ago someone I cared a great deal for died upon this bridge."

"Was it accidental or…"

"He was murdered."

"I am sorry, Sakurazuka-san, I truly am…if I had but known…"

"No…no, it is okay…the past is the past, after all." He remarks as he closes the gap between them and crushed Maki-san into a kiss.

He breaks free eventually and catching the others hands into his enquires,

"Shall we move elsewhere?"

"Where?"

"We could go to Ueno Park for a while and then…" He snakes a hand into the back of the others shirt as a hint of what might come next and Maki-san takes the bate.

"It sounds good."

Once he is within the boundaries of Ueno Park and he can feel the comforting pulse of the tree, he forgets easily that odd moment of distress.

He allows Maki-san to kiss him a few more times both for the sake of the game and because he needs the comfort that the other is offering him.

Needs, more than anything, to know that his is not alone.

Eventually this desire passes and it is then that he lets the illusion go…then that he allows Maki-san to see his 'True face'.

A panic comes to Maki-san's eyes and he moves a little from his side before he enquires,

"Who are you?"

"Who else could I be, Maki Hichigo? When you have set into motion a taxation plan that would bankrupt the more privileged of this city and threaten the stability of Japan itself?"

He is white now and a grim realisation clear in his eyes he enquires,

"Sakurazukamori?"

"Correct." He replies before he strikes, with pinpoint precision, for the other's heart.

Murder is now as nothing to him and once he has fed the corpse to the tree he lights a cigarette, a gentle smile on his lips.

The game had almost been lost this time and yet, as always he had succeeded.

As always the Sakurazukamori was the victor.

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T: This is a little filler episode between the plot, this is something that might happen regularly with this story so bare with me! Next chapter tues at the latest, till then R+R and you're spots (Should you have any) will magically disappear.


	3. Postcard Memories

3. Postcard memories. 

T: As promised here is chapter three and I think it might address a few of the niggles some of you are having in regard to Sakurazukamori Subaru's thoughts on 'the boy'…those wondering _why_ Maki-san was chosen it'll be explained in bits as we go along, so bare with me! Yep warnings remain and sadly I still remain free of the ownership of these guys.

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He is woken today by the whir of the fax machine and though he knows that he should take comfort in the absence of another recollection of that year he can not…

Not yet, at least.

Pulling himself out of bed he makes his way to the fax machine in the dark, his mind having long since memorised the layout of the house.

It seemed that there was to be a conference in a month when Maki-san's partner was to speak on his behalf about the taxation law that had been Maki-san's death warrant.

The assignment was to assassinate both this individual and any other supporter of the law, thus removing the opposition to the dissolution of the law and retaining the current stability of Tokyo.

Getting to Maki-san's partner might prove a challenge if the other was shrewd and understood why their partner had died, where as the other take would be simple enough to undertake.

He sends a list of important questions via the fax to his informants and then takes his lunch close the main building of Maki-san's company, this so that he might learn of the habits of the employees and so that he could better comprehend the situation in regards to security.

It takes him only a short while to see that security is lax, with but one guard within the building and nothing upon the employees to confirm that they are who they claim to be.

Once he has fixed these facts into his mind he abandons his half eaten meal and returns to the house.

His informants have been as swift as always and with his questions suitably answered he phones his tailor to request the swift construction of a deep green suit that he could then adapt later to perfectly match the uniform of the company.

He has just hung up the phone when one of the many postcards pinned to the opposite wall catches his eye.

It had been a quiet little town on the fringes of the mountains and unlike most of his excursions away from Tokyo he had not been alone.

After Kamui's death he and Fuuma had found an odd sort of comfort with one another, from which had spawned an organic friendship that twisted and changed often.

At the time the younger boy had been harbouring a 'crush' of sorts for him and hand been intent that he not go alone this time.

_"I can keep you company, Sakurazuka-san."_

_"Fuuma-kun, you know as well as I that I prefer to be alone on these excursions."_

_"True, but I have heard that the beds on the mountains are very cold…would you not appreciate someone warming that chill for you?"_

_The boy regards him with an intense hopefulness in his eyes and the part of the Sakurazukamori that is gripping still to the kind hearted Subaru gives a little._

_"You may come, Fuuma-kun, but do not expect it to be anything other than a friendly excursion."_

_"Of course."_

_The boy is silent on the journey up to the village and it is only once they reach the hotel room that he makes any comment._

_"I do not expect commitment, Sakurazuka-san, nor do I expect you to care._

_"All I want is to be appreciated, to have someone hold me and keep away the memories."_

_He stands at the window, his form silhouetted against a view that he shall later buy on a postcard and for a moment he could pretend that this was not Fuuma but _him

_As the Dark Kamui the boy had told him that he would never again mistake him for another and yet, in that instant, he saw again the man who he loved with a passion._

_He knew it to be a trick, knew that that man was dead and yet…he too had want to simply forget, had want to be swept away into the moment, thus he leans forward and catches the boy into a kiss. _

_On the way back to __Tokyo__ Fuuma makes a point of directing him to the postcard and, an odd smile on his lips he had said, _

_"Perhaps you should buy that to inspire some good memories."_

He stretches to touch the surface of the postcard, an image of Fuuma clear in his mind, that empty smile on his face and a loss in his eyes that had lingered with him until he had drawn his last breath.

He tears the thing from the wall without thought or rational he shreds it into tiny pieces.

He regards the mindless destruction a moment and then donning his coat heads out for his tailors.

He is just stepping back out into the hustle if Tokyo when he catches the boy's face amid the crowd.

He moves a little so that he is in the boy's eye line and is met with a pleasant smile before the child comes to stand before him.

"I am sorry that I left so soon after getting to the restaurant, but I suddenly recalled that I had agreed to meet someone."

He looks for a lie in the boy's eyes and finds himself smiling when he realises that the tale is nothing but the truth.

"You seemed so sure that you were free."

"I know, I know…kasan tells me always that I have a poor memory, tells me that I am lucky I am so handsome or people would not so readily forgive such a fault."

"She sounds like a smart woman."

The boy blushes a little for the embarrassment of the compliment and smiles a heart stopping smile which he had seen only once before on this face.

"Before I forget again I wished to introduce myself, I am Onitsuka Tenshi."

"Sumeragi Subaru." The old family name spills from his lips without though and as Tenshi perks at the mention of such a prestigious linage he knows he can not now take the words back.

He understands why he introduced himself as such, understands that he wishes to keep Tenshi free of the shadow of the Sakurazukamori for as long as possible.

"Are you of the Sumeragi clan or is that simply a co-incidence?"

"It is a co-incidence." He replies, thank full for at least this small distance between himself and his old clan.

"That is a pity! I have always wanted to meet an Onmyoji, for it sounds like an interesting line of work."

"I am sure that, as with every job, it has its downside."

"Probably." Tenshi responds before the clock across the road from them begins to strike the hour. "I have to be going, Sumeragi-san, but perhaps we could meet tomorrow for some lunch and a proper talk."

"Are you sure that you have no where else to be?"

Tenshi's smile becomes slightly abashed and the blush returns before he responds,

"Very sure."

"Then I would love to meet you."

"Shall we say ten at that little restaurant we went to the last time?"

"Certainly. Would you care for me to write it down for you or shall you remember?"

"You know I think I might regret telling you about my memory problem." The boy responds as he pulls a card from his coat pocket and passes it to him.

"That is my mobile number, just call me if I am not there by half past and before you ask I have a dozen more of those cards in my pocket, so, no, I will not need it back."

With that the boy is gone, some absent tune lilting from him in a succession of hummed notes.

The melody sticks in his mind and as he tracks the journey back to the house he finds himself humming snatches of it.

It is silly; this he comprehends well, for no matter how much Tenshi looks like _him_ he is not and yet…

Already he has fallen in love with the boy.

He understands already that this care can not be returned, that no matter how young he looks and feels he is now old enough to be the boy's father.

Understands that Tenshi will not be able to forgive him the sins he has committed as Sakurazukamori, nor comprehend that he is not simply replacement for _him_.

Understands that, most likely, the boy has already one he care for or that he views a love between men as a sin.

Yet still he loves him.

Still there grows, in the dark heart of him, a new wish.

A selfish wish.

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T: Don't kill me for that kiss…it just happened I swear it! Keep reviewing and I'll keep listening to your suggestions! Next chapter asap!


	4. Unstable Support

4. Unsteady support.

T: thank you everyone for being so encouraging! Just to let you know that as of this chapter Silver Salamander is being my beta so it is possible that the updates may slow down a little. Warnings remain the same and nope still not mine!

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_The wind is sharp and he regrets the foolish pride that had him leave the house without a coat._

_"You're shivering," Fuuma remarks, a smile hidden within his voice._

_"When you asked me to come to Tokyo tower with you I thought we would be inside in the shelter, rather than outside."_

_"I am sorry if I mislead you, Sakurazuka-san." He remarks, his eyes turning outwards to observe the sprawling mass of Tokyo._

_"Why are we here, Fuuma-kun?"_

"It has been six years since he died, Sakurazuka-san, since I 'won' and though I have tried to live I have not succeeded, for without him I am nothing…without him I am only a half. I believed, for a little while, that perhaps I could find some peace at your side, for you are broken as I and yet…

_Since you faced your Obaachan you have changed and what little of your hurt was left has faded into the hard diffidence of the Sakurazukamori._

_You do not care, anymore, for anything and though this option is open to me also I have no want to take it". He pauses here._

_"Instead I am going to simply let go, going to join him in the next life" He remarks as he pulls a clear capsule free of his pocket._

"I wanted you here because I needed the company and because I had one last thing to tell you.

_"The things that people say as they die are only ever truth, Sakurazuka-san. Seishiro loved you and wished only that you might endure…that you would live on content that you had done what you could to avenge your sister."_

_He smiles and pops the capsule into his mouth…the cyanide works swiftly and but an instant after he had consumed it Fuuma is dead._

He starts into waking as the train jolts to a stop and taking a moment to assess his surroundings he finds, thankfully, that he has not missed his stop and had in fact, just reached his destination.

Alighting from the station he straitens the uniform as best he can and then with a confident nonchalance, strolls into the office building.

The security guard stops him at the elevator and he explains, swiftly, that he is a new intern and that he had been asked to come today for an orientation of sorts.

His magic brings the man to believe this statement and soon enough he is sat in a semi luxurious board room.

Three individuals join him a moment later and after bowing to him they introduce themselves.

The first is a shrewd looking woman who introduced herself as Usagi Chihiro, his one sure target.

The other two seem to him to be the amiable type who everyone had no hesitation in naming their friends.

They introduce themselves as Sara Shimbo and Motasua Richou and after a few moments listening to them talking of the company and its current projects he comprehends that they are the last of the supporters for the taxation bill.

He introduces himself with Fuuma's name and then is taken, by Usagi-san, to view the office at work.

She is an amiable girl and he sees quickly that she is indeed wary of attack and he is glad of this.

The game is more intriguing when it is challenging, after all.

He works diligently at his post, staying long enough so that her might learn of what Usagi-san does with her day and at what hour she leaves.

Indeed, it is well into the night by the time he leaves and he lingers long enough that he might meet Usagi-san on his way out.

She praises his dedication and is soon laughing brightly as he jokes with her about his previous job.

"How old are you then, Monou-kun? Your eyes say that you've lived a hard life and yet by your appearance I would say you were only in your thirties."

"I am thirty two." He replies, this lie falling from him with ease both because it aids the illusion and because he has told it many times before. "But I had an action packed childhood, so that most likely explains the age."

"Maybe you could tell me about that childhood sometime."

"How about we discuss it now? I worked through lunch and I regret that now."

"Not that I am not flattered by the request, Monou-kun, but I do not wish to encourage you, especially when I have already a special someone in my life."

"Of course…I shall see you tomorrow."

Her smile returns and she gives him a cheery wave goodbye before she is gone.

He is not put off by the information that she has someone else; he has split up relationships before today and was assured that, given time, he could do so again.

He takes his time in returning home, allowing his mind to dwell on the recollection of the previous day.

Tenshi has been delightful company, a boyish charm to him that added with the more familiar aspects of _his_ personality, had made him more of an intoxication.

Once they had finished their tea the boy had suggested a walk to settle their stomachs and he had been more than happy to accommodate this desire.

They had gone first to the zoo at the Sunshine 60 and he had watched the boy's fascination with the penguins with an odd emptiness deep at the heart of him.

He had also thought a little on the loss of his eye but had been spared from a true recollection of that time by Tenshi calling him over to watch the flightless birds at play.

After that he had suggested that they go to Tokyo tower, an idea the boy had jumped at with an enthusiasm that seemed to be typical of him.

They spent a while on the main observation deck, watching the world pass by and talking to one another of odd, almost insignificant, things.

As the sun had began to se the boy had looked ready to call it an evening and reluctant to allow the day to end he had made the suggestion that they go to the higher observation deck.

The boy had again responded to the positive but had set a time limit this time to make certain that he knew that the day was winding to a close.

The talk had faded once they reached the top deck, for Tenshi was taken in by the view and he was struck by a sudden curiosity as to what it was that he wished from the boy.

Since undertaking the role of Sakurazukamori he had found that his decisions had become clouded less and less by uncertainty and that, slowly, things had become clearly one way or another.

Her had become accustomed to this clarity and thus faced now with so many conflicting wishes in his head he did not know what to do.

Part of him wished to spark a relationship between Tenshi and himself, wished to try the game with this boy and when he succeeded he would spare the child and make him his completely.

Part of him wished simply to get as far from the child as he could, wished to flee before it all fell back into the old rhythm and someone got hurt.

The dark heart of him wished to pull the boy close, to start a game similar to that which _he _had started during the Year of the Bet.

Wished to gain the boy's trust and then break him enough that the other would kill him and fulfil the wish that had been denied him so long ago.

All these desires and the many pros and cons of each flitted through is mind, then Tenshi had moved and a sweet smile on his face he remarked,

"It's been an hour now, Sumeragi-san and I really do have to get home or otherwise Kasan will get cross with me."

"Did you enjoy yourself, Tenshi-kun?"

"Very much so, Sumeragi-san…thank you for today and for this, it was nice to end things on a high note."

"Yes it was." He remarks, all too sure that he has lost the boy simply through his indecisiveness.

Yet Tenshi turns before he reaches the stairwell and a bright smile again on his lips he says,

"Let us do it again soon, Sumeragi-san and perhaps next time we could exchange glimpses at our favourite places to be in the city."

"Certainly." He replies and then, before he can consider the repercussions of such a thing he passes Tenshi a small scrap of paper and informs him,

"That is my mobile number so that you can phone me as well as visa versa."

"Thank you, Sumeragi-san. I'll see you soon."

As the reverie ends he finds that his feet have taken him off of the path home and out towards the Rainbow Bridge.

"Seishiro-san…what am I supposed to do now? How do I go on like this when it seems almost as though you have come back to me…as though everything has been made alright?" He enquires, the words all but a whisper.

As always _he_ is silent and as always he knows the choice is his alone.

Knows that he has to find some clarity amid his confusion.

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T: He he…I wonder if anyone catches the foreshadowing here...yep nasty surprise on the horizon! R+R thanks!


	5. Truth

5. Truth.

T: Sorry about the delays guys but I stupidly burned myself at work and have been unable to type for a while…back now though! There is an up and coming evilness in this chapter but apart from that warnings remain the same…oh and nope I still have no ownership of these guy's.

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He has taken his lunch in the office canteen this morning and is learning about Usagi-san's 'special someone' from her co-worker, Sara-san..

"He is only just sixteen and yet the care he shows her is of the sort you would expect of a much older man.

"Chihiro-chan jokes always that she has aged him prematurely but…" He pauses to take a sip of his drink and then checking once over each shoulder, leans a little closer in order to enquire,

"Do you believe in re-incarnation, Monou-san?"

A sudden sharp image of Tenshi comes to mind and he replies strongly to the affirmative.

Sara-san smiles to himself and remarks,

"I thought you might say that, you seemed like the type. Myself, I have always been suspicious of such thoughts and the convenience of them, but then I met Tenshi-kun and…"

He freezes at that name and a sudden creeping horror spreading over him he enquires,

"Is Tenshi-kun Usagi-san's boyfriend?"

"Yes that is correct…Onitsuka Tenshi…he is quite a unique character and knows things that a boy of that age should not…"

Sara-san continues to talk, to discuss why he believes Tenshi is a re-incarnation of another and yet he is no longer listening.

He had known that it was more than possible that Tenshi was taken, an open and handsome boy such as that being a good catch for any woman.

Yet for Tenshi to be attached to one he had thought to seduce and then kill…

For Tenshi to be as a perfect weapon to use against Usagi-kun…

It was a thing that both pleased him and unsettled him at the same time.

He had not experienced such a conflict of emotions since he had learned that his Obaachan was to be his next opponent.

_Fuuma has come to' keep him company' today, though he suspects that the young man's presence here is more because of his own loneliness rather than the Sakurazukamori's._

_Their friendship is, at the moment, within one of the periods of genuine trust and thus he is little concerned that the younger man is rifling through the various faxes pertaining to his current assignment._

_"It seems your target has drafted himself in a little protection." He remarks as he gestures to the most recent fax._

_"Yes and I think we can both guess who that 'protection' may be."_

_"One of your old clan?"_

_"Who else would have the courage to stand against Sakurazukamori?"_

_Fuuma apparently hears something in his voice that he had not realised was there, for the boy places the fax to one side and says,_

_"It can not be your Obaachan, Sakurazuka-san; it has, after all, been four years since you changed selves and she was fragile even then."_

_"She is stronger than she seems and I think that for the sake of avenging her beloved grandson she could find herself super human strength."_

_"You fear crossing her, fear that she shall see you and know you for traitor at last."_

_"Maybe."__ He replies, the word seeming lost and small on the mouth of one who should be always certain…powerful_

He shakes his head clear the memory but not before he sees, in the eye of his mind, the hatred that had been clear in his Obaachan's eyes as they had come face to face.

"Monu-kun, are you alright?"

"Forgive me, Sara-san, I was caught a moment in my memories."

"Forgive me, I did not mean to bring about any adverse recollection…."

"No, it was nothing you did; I simply just seem to get caught up in my thoughts every now and again."

The man smiles then and glancing to the puddle of coffee to his right he enquires,

"Do you always doodle as such when lost in thought?"

He takes notice then of the puddle of pail brown liquid and realises that he has sketched into it an inverse pentagram; the edges of which are fading already back into the puddle.

"Sometimes, yes."

"Tenshi-kun does the same, you know, though he draws always the more traditional pentagram.

"I asked him why once and he told me that he did not know…that it was something that he had simply always done.

"Would you give me such an answer if I asked that question of you, Monou-san?"

"To be honest I would most likely tell you that it is of no matter to you, that we do not yet know one another well enough got you to ask such questions and yet…

"I believe I can trust you Sara-san and so I tell you that I draw that shape because it recalls to me one who I lost in my childhood."

"Chihiro-chan was telling me last night that she thought you had been through the wars."

"You seem to be closer than work colleagues."

"You have a shrewd eye, Monou-san. Chihiro-chan, Richou-kun, our old manager Hichigo-kun and myself all went to university together.

"Of course we had not planned on going to the same company but when Hichigo-kun got a job here he found the people under him incompetent and asked us to help him.

"We agreed and after a few months together we could not imagine being anywhere else, Hichigo-kun was like family to us, after all and working for him made us feel appreciated."

"You speak in the past tense, did do something to lose your trust?"

"No, he was murdered."

"Really?"

The smile falls from the man and a nervous demeanour takes over his face, making him seem smaller and somehow less powerful than he had before this moment.

"The police said that they could not find his body, but there had been enough blood at the crime scene that it was impossible that he was anything but dead…before that Hichigo-kun had been nervous about this proposed change in taxation we were promoting…the night before though he seemed happier, he even said that he might soon have someone he could introduce to us and then…"

"Do you have an idea of who might have done such a thing?"

"Hichigo-kun was very superstitious and talked always of various ghosts and goblins following about him.

"It was part of who Hichigo-kun was though so we usually laughed it off and moved away from the subject.

"A few days before he vanished he told us about this legendary assassin who was meant to strike at the dead of night and leave no trace of ever being there.

"There was a not of seriousness in his voice this time and though we did not believe his legendary assassin was real, we did believe that he was being stalked by…someone…"

"This 'someone' is also who you suspect of killing him."

"That is correct."

"You fear that they are now stalking you?"

"This taxation is going to rock a few boats if it goes through, the sort of boats that it might not be wise to overturn…if they have gotten wind of our plans then it would make sense for them to stop things before they progressed too far."

He is about to find out what else Sara-san knows, for the other is clearly holding something back, when Usagi-san enters the room, her bright smile somewhat dimmed today.

"Chihiro-chan, what is the matter?" Sara-san enquires as he places a comforting had about his friends shoulder.

"Do not worry yourself, Shimbo-kun, I am being silly."

"Chihiro…"

"Tenshi was not his usual self today at lunch…his smile seemed duller and he seemed reluctant to talk to me of what he did with himself the day before yesterday.

"When eventually he did tell me his smile returned and yet it was not now for me but for whoever he spent the day before yesterday with."

"It is good that Tenshi-kun has made a true friend, is it not Chihiro-chan? Just yesterday you were telling me that you were sad that there was only his mother and yourself in his life."

"That is true and yet somehow this is different. The excitement with which he talked of that day was of a sort that I have not seen in him since we first started dating…"

"It will sort itself out, Chihiro-chan; Tenshi-kun loves you, after all."

She seems to settle a little at this and yet the doubt and the discomfort that that doubt brings her, is clear still in her eyes.

He watches this discomfort and has to fight a smile from forming onto his lips.

She had said that Tenshi has been happier than he had in a long time, that that happiness was for his sake…

To believe that the boy might care for him even just a little…to think that Usagi-san would never know that it was he who was causing a divide between them…

Perhaps there was no true conflict in this situation.

Perhaps there was hope for a suitable resolution to all of difficulties that he was currently facing.

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T: Tenshi was originally going to be the son of one of the people that Subaru has to kill but I thought this would be too much of a conflict for our hero, thus this scenario was born. Unfortunately things will be getting even more complex for poor Subaru in the next chapter, which is going to be a bit longer in coming as I haven't even finished inking it out! R+R I like to know where I'm going right & where I'm going wrong!


	6. Kokoro

6. Kokoro.

T: Without mentioning the reviewers name for fear of removal I wished to sooth their concerns about the amount of time I am spending with the OC in this story. There is a point to it, I promise and as to the oddity of 'the game', wait for chapter 10 and all shall be explained! Anyway…things get even more complex from here on…I blame my over active imagination! Not mine and warnings are the same.

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The shrill notes of Subaru's mobile ringtone stir him into waking and reaching for the offending item, he blearily pulls it closer in order to see the screen.

'Tenshi' blinks clearly on the caller information screen and without question or thought Subaru pushes the answer button.

"Hello?"

"Sumeragi-san, it is Tenshi…" The boy sounds oddly quiet and there is a hesitancy to the boys words that he has never heard before.

"Tenshi-kun, what is the matter?"

"Kasan has been taken to the hospital…she was laughing and joking with me and then…she just collapsed…

Everyone was talking so quickly and I had to get out…had to go away…I was frightened so I phoned you…I hope you don't mind."

He wonders why he was the first to come to the boy's mind, why Tenshi did not phone Usagi-san instead, and an odd burst of hope swings over him as he says,

"I do not mind at all, Tenshi-kun…where are you now?"

"I'm not exactly sure…"

"Are you anywhere near Ueno?"

"I think I am only a little way from it…yes if I look carefully I can see the sakura on the horizon."

"Okay, go to the park and wait for me there, I shouldn't be too long."

"Thank you, Subaru-san."

It feels off to have _his_ voice address him as such and yet it is, at least, better than being address as Sumeragi-san.

He calls out to the tree and asks it to keep an eye on Tenshi once the boy crosses into its territory and to warn the thing that one so alike as its old master would soon be within range.

He finds Tenshi huddled beneath the sakura when he arrives, his eyes red with tears and a pallor to his skin clearly arisen from the shock.

"Tenshi-kun?" The boy starts at the sound of his name and then he is in his arms, his small frame shaking almost as a trapped bird.

"I am so sorry, Subaru-kun…but I was afraid…"

"I know, it is okay now, Tenshi-kun. Where did they take your Kasan?"

"Shinjuku general hospital."

For the briefest moment he sees a frightened mother, the bright flash of a scalpel clenched into her fingers and blood….

So much blood…

He forcibly stops the recollection before it can go any further and concentrates instead on aiding Tenshi.

"Do you want me to ring and get an update on her status?"

A nod and he is reaching for his mobile, his fingers working swiftly to dial the number of the hospital.

He speaks to a nurse and learns that Tenshi's mother is still unconscious, but they are not, as yet, overly worried for her health.

"Have you somewhere to go to, Tenshi-kun? It sounds as though your mother will not be home any time soon and I do not think she would want you on your own."

"Chihiro-chan may let me stay with her…but…"

The boy falls silent and his fear dissipates into a quiet thoughtfulness that may or may not mean anything.

"Who is Chihiro-chan?"

The boy all but freezes this time, his handsome face falling into a blank mask that he recalls oh so well.

"She is…"

"You do not have to tell me if you do not wish."

"I would rather not…things between Chihiro-chan and I are…difficult at the moment."

He refuses to allow himself to take hope in this statement, just because Tenshi did not completely care for Usagi-san, it did not mean that the boy loved him instead.

He stores the information to one side and says,

"You need somewhere to go, Tenshi-kun."

"Could I stay with you, Subaru-san…I know that we have been friends for only a little while but I know that I can trust you…"

"Of course you can stay with me." He replies, the words spilling free before he can consider the risk of having another with him…of bringing Tenshi so close.

"Thank you."

Tenshi is fascinated by the unique architecture of the sakurazukamori's house, and with its close proximity to Ueno.

"Its almost right on your doorstep…is that so you can see the sakura?"

"Amongst other things."

The moment he crosses over the threshold an odd quiet comes upon him that may or may not mean anything.

He allows the boy the time to explore and then he gestures to the spare bedroom and informs him,

"You can sleep in there, Tenshi-kun, there should be some old clothes in the cupboards…"

The boy has stopped still before the French doors that lead out to the garden, awe clear in his eyes.

"It may sound odd; Subaru-san, but I have seen this garden before within my dreams. I am stood here and there by the camellia is a pale woman, her hands covered in blood…" He steps forward, his eyes raised up towards the deep red blossoms of the camellia bush.

"She tells me something and then she falls, the snow about her staining crimson…wither her last breath she tells me ' it is the greatest thing to die for the one you love.'

"Those words should scare me and yet they do not…instead they amuse me greatly…" The boy trails and he moves to come to stand beside him, his hands coming to rest on the boy's shoulders.

"Tenshi-kun, do you dream this often?"

"No, indeed I stopped dreaming it when I turned five…after that I have had only one dream."

"What dream is that?"

"I am crouched beneath a sakura, in my arms is clutched a small boy…I can not see his face no matter how much I try…on his hands are branded two inverse pentagrams, their lines marked with his blood…"

Tenshi shivers and moves instinctively closer to him, a wildness clear now in the boy's eyes.

"That dream scares me, Subaru-san and I do not understand why."

He bends so that he is level with the boy's eyes and enquires,

"Would you forget that dream if you could?"

"Maybe…I know that I should say yes without hesitation and yet part of me has no want to forget that dream or the boy within it."

"It is better that you forget, Tenshi-kun, at least for now." He responds as he places a sleeping spell onto the boy.

Tenshi resists a moment and then teeters back into his waiting arms.

"I am sorry that I must do this, especially when I had promised that I would never do as such.

"Yet I can not watch your distress, nor can I allow you to recall the memory of your previous life…not until I know what it is that I truly wish from you." He informs the unconscious child as he lifts him into his arms.

There is a want to kiss the child and though he will not allow himself to fully release this desire, he does submit a little by allowing himself to kiss the child's forehead.

"Aishiteru." He mumbles, the words as the one certain truth within the Sakurazukamori's life.

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T: I wonder why it took Subaru so long to get to Ueno if it is as close as Tenshi claims…my suggestion is that he had to get dressed, after all meeting the reincarnation of the one you love in your PJ's is a little embarrassing! Hopefully the rest here is self explanatory! R+R and someone please send me some fanart...Tenshi deserves to be realised and I have no drawing talent!


	7. Passionate Envy

7. Passionate jealousy. 

T: Another non Tenshi chapter for those wishing to avoid them, though there is a small piece of plot significance here so it might be best to at least scan this chapter! Warnings remain the same and I fear I am still not a member of Clamp, will continue to try, however!

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Usagi-san is not looking her usual impeccable self, this he notes as she makes her way past his desk to her own and comprehending that there is an opportunity in this disarray he calls her attention to him, then enquires,

"Did you have a rough night?"

She takes stock of her appearance, runs a finger through her hair and smiling a little replies,

"Very much so…my boyfriend's mother was taken into hospital last night."

"I am sorry, how is he taking it?"

"I wouldn't know."

"I am sorry, but I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

She sighs and takes the empty seat across the desk from him before replying,

"Tenshi usually tells me of the smallest occurrence in his life, but this time I had to hear of the event from the hospital.

"I tried to phone him, of course, but the line was engaged."

"Perhaps he was calling to see how his mother was."

"Perhaps." She replies, her voice lacking confidence in the response,

"Do you want to go for a quick coffee? I know that you are always at least a half hour earlier for work than you need be and I am parched."

"That would be nice, thank you, Monou-kun."

Once they have acquired their coffees and have settled into one of the plastic benches in the staff canteen, Usagi-san begins to tell him of her life with Tenshi,

"I met him a year ago and right from the second I saw him I knew that he was going to be something special to me.

"It was an ordinary enough meeting; I had known Tenshi's mother, Marian, for a few years and she decided it was due time that I met her son.

She had told me his age but looking at him that first day I had not believed her words, for in his eyes was a comprehension and a restlessness far beyond his years."

She pauses here, and with a small smile continues:

"Marian told me later that he had always been as such, that from the moment he had been born there was an intelligence in his eyes that was not normal for one but two seconds old in this world.

"It was that intelligence that caught me and I would often find excuses to go and see him, to talk to him.

"He is a kind boy, if a little absent minded on occasion and thus it was all but certain that I would fall head over heels for him…" She pauses a moment to take a gentle sip of her coffee and then a faint smile on her lips she continues,

"It was only after we started dating that I saw the other side of him, a mysterious, seductive edge that seemed so adverse to his other nature.

"Hichigo-kun used to say that this other nature was a past life leaking though and he convinced me to take Tenshi on a course of hypnotherapy.

"Unlike Hichigo-kun I am more than a little cynical about such things and I expected the usual light show, a few clique responses and then a request for the entire course fee based on that one session.

"However, only two minutes after Tenshi had been put under, his voice deepened and began to talk of some sort of Bet.

"He said that he had made a mistake beginning such a stupid game but that he did not regret it, not when the conclusion had proven more than he had thought it could be.

"He said that today he was going to put an end to The Bet and fulfil both his own wish and _his_ wish also.

"The man performing the hypnotherapy asked who _he_ was and Tenshi replied that _he_ was the one that he loved. The one that he had wronged through The Bet and who would at last be able to get his vengeance.

" 'My cute little, Subaru-kun.' He remarked as he smiled…such a disturbingly blank smile that I asked for the session to be stopped.

"That name I had heard before on Tenshi's lips, while in the depths of his reoccurring nightmare, thus to hear it during the session spooked me…enough, I am afraid to admit, so that I did not bring Tenshi again to that place.

"A little after that the nightmare became stronger, enough that Tenshi could no longer sleep through the night and desperate I turned to Hichigo-kun for help.

"He pointed me in the direction of the Sumeragi clan and for a while it seemed a sensible course to take…however, I soon learned that the clan had recently lost the woman who had been acting as head and that, for the moment, they were not taking on any more clients.

"In the end it did not matter anyway, for the nightmare faded a little in its intensity and Tenshi began again to sleep the night away.

"I thought myself rid of that nightmare until I heard that name again from Tenshi, this time not in reference to one in his past, but to one in his future."

"You are referring to the individual that he spent that afternoon with, are you not?"

"Yes, that is correct. It was that co-incidence more than anything else that upset me so about that meeting…after all, if Tenshi believed this Subaru linked in anyway to the Subaru of his past he might just try to make amends…

Might choose to leave me so that he could again be at this other's side."

"If he made such a choice then it would show that he never truly cared for you."

"That is true and yet…I love him and though it is selfish and more than a little possessive I can not let another take him from me.

"He is my angel…my light…and losing him…" She begins to cry then and he stretches across the table to hug her as best he can, his face schooled into a compassionate, neutral, expression despite the excitement that has flared at the heart of him.

He had known that Tenshi had recalled a little of his previous life, thus much clear for the genesis of The Bet and yet he had believed the child ignorant of their later association.

To learn that it was otherwise…to know that he recalled the very day of that moment on the Rainbow Bridge…it was both a horrifying and exciting realisation.

For the moment though he could not dwell on this development, not when he had Usagi-san and her broken heart to deal with.

"Have you tried calling him since that first time?"

"No…but I think that I shall try." She replies as she pulls out her mobile and pressing a single number brings the thing to her ear,

"Tenshi? It's Chihiro…the hospital phoned me about Marian…I don't know…perhaps she put it in her instructions so she could be sure that you were safe…why are you so angry Tenshi? Are we not dear to one another? Am I not the one to whom you trust everything?" There is a long moment of silence and then she enquires, "How can you 'not be sure'? Either you love me or you don't, there is no middle ground…no it is not simply 'one of those things', it is because of him, is it not?

"You know who I am talking about…the one whose name you scream in the night…how convenient for you, Tenshi…Subaru, that is who I am talking about!

"Really? I suppose your 'friend' has kindly allowed you the use of his bed whole he remains contentedly on the pull out sofa…a spare bedroom, how nice for you!

"Of course I am angry, Tenshi, you tell me that your feelings for me have muted, that you no longer know if you truly love me and then you simply expect me to be okay about it?" She presses another button on the phone and places it forcefully back into her pocket.

"I take it that things did not go well."

"Not well at all…something about Tenshi has changed so very much since he spent that afternoon with that man.

"He was so abrupt with me and so uncaring of my feelings…my Tenshi would not have simply told me 'It is one of those things' and expected me to understand.

Tenshi would not have been so very evasive either…even if he was ashamed of falling for another other than myself.

"No, that _man_ has changed him and I swear that I shall find something in this other's nature that proves him fraud or charlatan and expose this to Tenshi so that he loses his love for him and comes back to me."

It amuses him that she believes she has the strength or resolve enough to battle him, though this is as a paltry amusement to that he feels at her blindness.

She is nervous of sharing Maki-san's fate, this clear in the way she looks constantly over her shoulder or becomes skittish in an open environment.

Yet despite this she has allowed a perfect stranger into her confidence…has allowed a perfect stranger to see her passion for one small boy and the weakness it pertains to.

He loves Tenshi and it becomes clearer that part of the boy loves him also and yet…

He has a job to do and no matter who is hurt or who has to die he will perform that job.

He has Seishiro's memory to protect, after all.

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T: Blink and you may miss the foreshadowing! I had thought to simply bring Tenshi and Subaru together happily and yet as this chapter evolved it became clear to me that such a thing was a little difficult at this point. At the moment Subaru has still in his mind a clear separation between Tenshi and Seishiro, thus he does not, as yet, view killing the boy as a true sacrifice, especially considering that it is now clear that Tenshi is the key to Usagi-san's demise! Please note that I do not yet know if this shall remain Subaru's resolve, the whole issue is more than a little clouded at the part of the tail that I am currently inking! R+R to help me improve!


	8. Risk

8. Risk.

T: Apparently I've been being too nice by giving you hints on what's coming next so I'm stopping! Not mine, though I am evil enough and warnings remain the same…oh this is a Tenshi chapter for those skipping through!

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He awakes several hours before his usual time, something that he believes the trees fault until he attempts to reach for the thing and find it dormant..

How odd.

Every nerve in his body is tensed and his hunter's instinct is screaming 'danger' yet he is alone in his room and the magical wards about the windows and the doors have not been disrupted in any fashion.

How very odd.

He rolls from his bed silently and turns up the legs of his night trousers so that he can move silently with ease.

The set is black silk and tailored larger than his need so that he can easily slip in and out of it in haste.

There is a tiny part of him that had requested the set as such because his sister had always made his bed clothes just a little too big, both so that he might grow into them and to add to his 'cuteness'.

The living room remains untouched and there are no signs, large or small, to indicate that an intruder has passed by.

A faint cry tenses him again and he moves, slowly, towards the door of his spare bedroom.

He keeps the hinges on all of his doors well oiled at all times, aware that the smallest of sound might well make the difference between life and death.

Tenshi is curled as far down the bed as he can and at some point during the night he has kicked off the covers thus exposing a set of very familiar polka-dot pyjama's.

He no longer clings to the pain of his sister's memory, yet no matter how much he tries he can not seem to dislodge the need to remember her just a little.

Most of the objects linked to his past life had long since been disposed of, however, there were a few pieces, dotted still within the house, that he could not seem to part with.

…This set of pyjama's and two other pieces of her original tailoring, folded neatly in the bottom the spare room cupboard...

…A photo album hidden amongst the socks in his dresser…

…One of his sister's dolls, found in her bedroom after she had gone and sat on the top of his wardrobe…

…Finally a single set of their baby clothes, framed and lovingly signed by his sister in memory of the first day that had spent together in Tokyo, this hidden well in the shadows of one of the living room alcoves.

Silly sentimentalities, all of them, yet each time he attempted to throw them or dispose of them in another fashion something would always stop him.

Something that a tiny part of him believed to be his sister's spirit clinging to the desire to be recalled always in his mind.

Tenshi cries out and now that he is close to the boy he can hear that it is a name…no, not simply any name…_his_ name.

He knows he can not let the child in any further to his heart, especially now when he is completely certain of what he wants from him…

Knows that to let the child recall his past would be creating so many complications…yet still he crouches to the child's side and placing a hand to his forehead says,

"I am here, Seishiro-san…I am here…"

There is a brief instant where he believes the act as futile and as silly as it had felt and then the boy stills and his eyes open wide to reveal the gaze of the man he had loved before he fell to the sakura.

"Subaru-kun, I did not expect you for a while yet…did your job finish early?"

There is something in the tone and the words themselves that tell him that the boy is not truly seeing him, that he has simply responded to his voice and enveloped him into whatever fantasy he had been dreaming of.

This thought jolts him a little back to rational thought and yet still he can not stop himself from replying,

"You fell asleep, Seishiro-san."

"Really? It must the summer heat getting to me…it is no matter! Shall we find Hokuto-chan and treat ourselves to muffins?"

The mention of his sister's name is the last push he needs and his mind again calm and rational he replies,

"No."

"Why?"

"Because this is not real…you are not real! Twice you have simply gone from my life, the first after the shattering of the illusion of the kind veterinarian and the second…

You let me kill you on the Rainbow Bridge so that I might live, so that I might continue this legacy.

I did as such because I thought it would bring you back…thought that if I clung to your memory you would never truly leave me…

Then your mark faded and I stopped seeing you in Fuuma's face and I thought…"

He pauses to gather his thoughts and notes that the boy has passed back into genuine sleep before he remarks,

"I thought that I was free at last to try and let go, yet my heart still clung to your memory…

Seishiro-san, why did you come back? Why could you not let me simply fold away into the complete numbness of the Sakurazukamori?"

He leans forwards, catching the boy's lips for a moment before he returns to his feet and enquires,

"Why do you love me still?" Before he leaves the child's side.

Dressed still in his night clothes he crosses out through the back gate of the garden and out into the quiet splendour of Ueno at night.

He walks a while without purpose or direction and then he turns and leaps for the sakura, his form recalling still the grace and ease of such a jump despite the time between this and his last.

Secure in the branches of the tree he lets his mind go and little by little the anxiety, the passion and the confusion of the situation is gone.

He has two weeks left before to finish his task, two weeks to do what has to be done and cover his tracks as he leaves.

Firstly he had to get rid of Usagi-san, something that he could achieve swiftly with Tenshi within his care.

Then he had to find a manner to dispose of Sara-san and Motasua-san without drawing further police attention.

This was something he would again prove simple, merely because with those two individuals he was assured that he could win them over with his charms.

There was a small risk in the close proximity that they worked together in and yet a small illusion would soon elevate that risk.

Finally there was Tenshi…

If he could kill Usagi-san without drawing the boys suspicion then he would tell the boy a lie and simply walk out of his life.

If the boy realised who he was then he would kill him, it was as simple as that.

Tenshi was not _him_ and to believe otherwise was to create a loose end in the plan.

Was to create a risk.

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T: I Am retaining my silence! Just keep reading and review please! I like having feedback!


	9. Final Instants

9. Final Instants.

T: Still keeping tight lipped! Not mine and warnings the same…

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_He had thought a great deal on the matter of companionship since Fuuma's passing a month ago._

_Though it was true that he had no want now for neither 'love' nor the complications it presented there was an ache within him that did not seem to wish to pass._

_An ache that, before he had become Sakurazukamori, he would readily have called loneliness and yet now…_

_One such as he should not be able to feel such a thing, should be free of all emotions…should be as a blank slate.._

_And yet..._

_Today he had come prematurely into the company of his current target and he had had to put on a false face. _

_The man had accepted that front, indeed he had responded to it in an almost flirtatious manner. _

_Without thought he had agreed to seeing the target again today, had agreed to a 'date' of sorts._

_Indeed here was the man now, a gentle smile on his face and a small bunch of flowers in his hands,_

_"For you, Sakurazuka-san."_

He stirs with the memory of that smile still in his mind and he tries vainly to deduce the significance of this recollection.

After a moment he realises what it is…that that day had been the first that he had ever played the game.

Before that day he had remained as retracted from his victims as was possible.

Had simply learned what he could of his prey before he had killed them mercilessly.

After that particular kill he had found the numbness had faded, found a sense of satisfaction in the work that had been lost to him until that point.

For a month or so he had mixed 'the game' into the more traditional kill, testing the new method against the old to see which was more efficient.

Though 'the game' took longer than the more traditional method, it amused him greatly and it allowed him a sense of power, of control, that he had never experienced before.

'The game' had become his preferred method of killing and choosing it to be as such had marked the last transition between the man he had been and the icy impassive nature of the Sakurazukamori.

There is a knock on the door and Tenshi steps into the space a moment to inform him,

"Subaru-san…I made you breakfast."

"Thank you, Tenshi-kun; I shall be there in a moment." The boy smiles and then leaves him again on his own.

He dresses today in a plain black ensemble and ridding his mind of all but the important concerns he comes to the table.

He is used now to eating only a small meal in the morning, thus he barely scratches the generous spread that the boy has prepared before he is full.

"Are you alright, Subaru-san?" Tenshi enquires.

"Yes, thank you, Tenshi-kun. I tend only to have a small snack in the morning, usually as I am on my way to work."

"I am sorry, Subaru-san, I should have recalled that you worked and woken you earlier…"

"It's fine, Tenshi-kun, I have the week off so do not need to rise so early.

On that note, I thought that today we could spend some time together."

The boy perks and enquires,

"Will you show me your precious place today?"

"Yes, then I thought that perhaps we could go and see your mother."

"Do you think that she shall be awake today?"

"We can hope."

An hour later and they are walking beneath the Rainbow Bridge, Tenshi's eyes absorbing every detail before him.

"It is odd, but I had not imagined you would bring me here."

"Where did you think I would take you then, Tenshi-kun?"

"Somewhere out of the way…a little ornamental garden or a family shrine.

"The Rainbow Bridge seems too commercial for you… too 'Sheep like'."

"'Sheep like'?"

The boy breaks into a bright, free laughter and he jostles him a little with his elbow before he replies,

"There is something…unique about you, Subaru-san…something extra special…"

"I am flattered that you believe as such, Tenshi-kun."

"You think I am being a little naive I suppose?"

"Maybe."

The boy turns an inquisitive stare onto him, those mismatched eyes twinkling with a mischief that is unique to him before he enquires,

"How do you see yourself then, Subaru-san?"

"I see myself a little as this bridge, Tenshi-kun."

"How so?"

"I am a free floating thing, bending and twisting with the minute shifts of this world, fixed solidly by but two points.

"One far behind me; my birth and one yet before me; my death."

"What happened in your past that you believe that of yourself, Subaru-san? That you believe such a notion of self is a positive thing?"

"My past is in the past, Tenshi-kun. I have no want to dwell upon it…no want at all."

The mood had soured considerably and the boys smile has guttered completely.

"I am sorry, Subaru-san…I had a thought that there was a pain somewhere in your life and yet for it to be enough for you to wish to deny it…

"Can we forget that I ever raised the question?"

"Of course, but I could ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why do you say that you had a thought of the pain in my past?"

"Your eyes told me…I suspect most people you meet do not take much note of them but for the oddity of their hue.

Yet my eyes mirror your own and so after the initial shock of that similarity I could see beyond to the heart of you.

You have lonely eyes, Subaru-san…such very lonely eyes."

"Someone else told me as such, a long time ago. She also said that loneliness can make you do some odd things; at the time I was unsure as to whether she was speaking the truth, or for the terrible things her mother had done to her."

"What do you believe now, Subaru-san?"

"It would upset you for me to answer that question, Tenshi-kun and that would not do…I want only ever to see you smiling, after all."

The boy starts a little at the confession and then he smiles a warm open smile that made him as his own person rather than as a mirror of _him_.

"You are very kind, Subaru-san…"

Those words are oh so very familiar and he finds himself wrapped into a terrible memory…

_He finds, somehow, the strength to move a little from his grip and his handsome face breaking into his first true smile he concludes the often used phrase,_

_"…very kind…Subaru-kun…I truly did…love you." He falls then, the last of his life's energy spent on such painfully senseless words._

_He grips his body to him and the tears welling into his eyes he enquires,_

_"You never say what I expect you to, do you?"_

"Seishiro-san…" It is but the faintest of whispers and yet Tenshi catches it somehow and a wildness in his eyes he enquires,

"Who is Subaru, who is Seshiro-san?"

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T: Dun dun dun…yep it's cliff hanger time! No I don't understand why Subaru chose the Rainbow Bridge either! This version of Sei-chan's final words based a little on the Viz translation 'I really…' and the realisation that Clamp love repeating things, thus this is a slight variation on Subaru's statement in volume 7 of TB... R+R for fun and to keep my brain working!


	10. Revilation

10. Revelation.

T: This chapter is a little…full on…that is all I am going to say for fear of spoiling things! Warnings the same and it's still not mine…I own most of the merchandise now, does that count?

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"Who is Seishiro-san, Subaru-san?"

"Why?"

"I know that name somehow and I thought that if you told me who he is I might remember."

"No. You will not recall until I take the block from your mind."

"Block?" The child is obviously scared now, this fear hiding well the want for understanding in his eyes.

He had promised himself that should the child get too close he would call a stop to it, thus he steps away from the boy and smiling the smile of the Sakurazukamori he responds,

"I had a want for you to forget your other life until I knew what it was that I would do with you and yet, as always, you have managed to elude me.

"For but a few hours after I had banished your memories you were dreaming again of your past…of the Year of The Bet."

"Bet?"

"'When we meet again you will have a year to make me feel something for you and if you fail, I shall kill you.' I was but seven when you spoke those words to me, when you branded me with your mark and made me as an outcast among my own kin.

"Yet it does not matter now, the pain and the heartbreak of the past are but emotionless memories to me now.

"Something that I have you to thank for…Seishiro-san."

The boy's eyes widen and he feels the barriers on his mind break with a devastating clarity…

Seishiro's memories had been revealed.

"Why? Why have you revealed this thing to me?" The boy enquires after a moment, his hands rising to massage at his temples.

"Because I could no longer lie to you and because you have all but lived out your usefulness."

"Subaru-kun…"

The boy teeters a little on his feet and he takes this opportunity to gain a better distance between them.

Leaping into the sky he lands, faultlessly, onto the outer edge of the bridge and he begins then to prepare the spell that will be as an end to the boy.

"Subaru-kun, I do not understand why I did the things that I did in that previous life, nor do I expect you to forgive me those actions simply because they were not truly my own…

"I want you to know that I am sorry and that if I could do something to take the pain of those years from you I would.

"I may only be Tenshi now rather than Seishiro and yet somehow I still…" The boy pauses and a strong determination entering into his eyes he leaps for the bridge.

He lands poorly and he wobbles a moment on the tiny surface before he finds his balance.

"I still love you, Subaru-kun."

He moves hesitantly towards him, his arms outstretched to better maintain his fragile balance.

"It is too late; I am Sakurazukamori and thus what heart you left me has long since gone."

"If that is true then why am I still alive? Why did you tell me that my smile is the most important thing to you?"

"It was an illusion; something that I believe you should understand well, Seishiro-san."

The boy is but an arms length away and he moves himself so that he might better strike the child's heart.

Once content with his positioning, he leaps and an understanding smile comes to the boy's lips,

"I truly am sorry, Subaru-kun and it if takes my death for you to believe that then I shall gladly die.

"Your forgiveness is all that I ever wished for, after all."

Those words are so very unexpected and they break his concentration long enough that the spell loses its strength and he ends out simply hitting the child, open handed, on his chest.

The child's balance again disturbed he wobbles and unable to counteract the extra weight of the Sakurazukamori they topple together over the edge.

They fall a little before his mind catches up and moving on instinct he pulls the boy to himself and balls up as much as he can to ensure that most of the impact is transferred to his body rather than Tenshi's.

It is thankful, in a way, that they are not over the river, for once impact is made there is not the further danger of drowning.

There is, however, the pavement to consider and as he strikes the hard surface he feels a bone in his spine snap before sensation is cut completely from him and the world fades about him.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Subaru has not woken since he hit the tarmac and yet the doctors are not concerned, indeed they come only once in a while to check on the older man's status.

He has spent long enough in a sick room that it concerns him and when the next doctor appears he asks after this oddity.

"Sakurazuka-san has an amazing regenerative capability, Onitsuka-kun and most of the doctors in this hospital have seen him recover from all but fatal injuries.

"Thus there is a general feeling among us that this is nothing more than a slight scrape for Sakurazuka-san and so, for the moment, we are treating it as such."

It had made sense in an odd sort of way and assured that Subaru was not being neglected a little of his tension had eased.

He finds the silence in the room unbearable and shuffling a little in his seat he takes Subaru's hand in his own before remarking,

"I want to talk to you more of my other life, Subaru-kun, of the time when I was Seishiro and yet I want to be sure that you are listening to me before we start that conversation.

However, I can not stand this silence and I have also a want for you to hear the story of this life, though it is not as important to me to know that you hear these words…

"My kasan and my tousan led hard childhoods, kasan having contracted cancer and tousan being blighted with leukaemia.

"Somehow they both survived these traumas and because of them they found one another.

"Kasan said that it was the one thing that made her smile about the illness, for if she had never had it then she would never have gone to a survivors meeting and met tousan.

"The illness made it hard for them to conceive their own child, the chemotherapy having made kasan all but barren.

She called me her miracle child, an angel's gift…it was a name that stuck among the nurses and eventually kasan decided to name me Tenshi.

My life was happy enough and I recall those first five years as a long adventure…as a constant amazement.

Though tousan had recovered as well as one can from such a thing as leukaemia his immune system had not and I recall that he would always have a cold during the winter months.

On the year of my fifth birthday he contracted a virulent strain of the flu and his diminished white blood cells could not cope.

I spent my fifth birthday not at the zoo as I had hoped, but at tousan's bedside, waiting, patiently, for his final breath.

I know that I loved tousan, I can recall the memory of that love deep within me and yet…

I felt nothing as he died, not fear, not confusion…not anything at all…

That was something I thought of only later when I had mind enough to consider such reactions as odd or out of the ordinary.

"It was at the time of tousan's death that my dreams changed and when my traitorous fingers began sketching the Sigil of your former clan everywhere than I could.

"I changed, became more curious than ever before…all but drank in the knowledge of new places, new people and new languages.

"Then, all of a sudden, I met Chihiro and there was someone in my life who I believed might teach me more of the things I wished to know.

"I knew that I did not love her as she loved me and yet I believed that I did care, just enough for her that to claim love was not such a terrible lie…" He smiles a little to himself and gripping harder to Subaru's hand he says,

"The evening that we met so suddenly in the street I had been going to Chihiro's home, a vague content in my heart…

"We crashed and as you offered me your hand…

"Looking into your eyes I felt as though I were coming home, as though the answers I craved still were contained together within the shadows of your soul.

"I felt…whole…"

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T: Te he! Yep another cliffy…nope I shall not crack! Three chapters left for those curious…R+R I need the praise!


	11. Wishes

11. Wishes.

T: Home stretch…is all I will say! Not mine, wish it was! Warnings the same and this chapter is again all Tenshi, aren't I nice?

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He returns from the vending machine to find Subaru still asleep, and burying his disappointment beneath a smile he continues with his tale,

"I did not understand my response to you, Subaru-kun and I was flustered enough to accept your invitation for tea even though I was late already to meet Chihiro.

"She was used to my poor memory by then and so she simply brushed it off as my being forgetful.

"It felt odd being with her now that I had a notion of what true love could be and I became so guilty at the thought of leading her on that I distanced myself a little from her.

"Something that hurt her more in the end and yet…

"I am bound to you, Subaru-kun, as you are bound to me." AS he says these words two bright inverse pentagrams flair on the backs of Subaru's hands and he smiles a little.

"Those ties are enough for us to feel a little drawn to one another and yet I think…I know…that it is for my own sake that I love you, Subaru-kun, rather than the sake of the man that I was.

So, if you ask it of me, I shall let you go…shall allow you to steal away the memories I have of that life or even allow you to take my memories of you.

I will even willingly give you my life, because I love you and because I meant what I said on the Rainbow Bridge."

"In which life time?"

It is a little unexpected and yet he does not flinch, but waits patiently for Subaru to open his eyes.

"When did you stir?"

"I felt the waking of the magic of the sakura upon my hands and as I knew such a thing to be impossible I pulled myself from sleep to see what had truly been the source of that magic."

"It came truly from those marks, Subaru-kun, for though I am no longer Sakurazukamori…no longer even Onmyouji…I am still, in essence, Seishiro and those marks responded to that fact."

Subaru seems little convinced by this supposition and after a moment of silence he enquires,

"In which life did you mean the words that you spoke upon the Rainbow Bridge, Seishiro-san?"

"I wish that you would stop using that name for me, Subaru-kun, for though I was Seishiro for a long time to you I am Tenshi now…

To answer the question, though, the words that I spoke in that place were true in both my lifetimes."

"Then why did you not tell me sooner…why did you not concede to losing The Bet?"

"I do not know if I could give you an answer that would satisfy, Subaru-kun, for when I think of that life all my emotions and the reasoning for my actions are muted things."

"I do not care for a detailed explanation; I wish only to have an end to the matter at last."

"At the time of The Bet's conclusion I can recall being amused by your complete naivety and I recall also a want to see what you would so now that you knew the truth.

I believe that I would have killed you had Hokuto-chan not given her life for you and upped the stakes a little.

"Now I could not kill you in the traditional manner, nor did I have a want to simply destroy you in a simple manner such as with a knife…

I think, also, that I had a want to see how you would treat me now…to what lengths you would go to avenge your sister.

Also, I believe that I had begun to care, just a little, for you and thus had no want to destroy you.

From time to time I would wonder what you were doing and if you had, in fact, awoken from inside yourself.

Once I even indulged that curiosity, seeking out your marks and learning that you were performing still your job…that you had grown stronger rather than weaker as I had believed.

It was only when I saw you again at the Nago Sun Plaza that I had a thought that perhaps I cared for you, just a little.

I believe that it was when you lost your eye on Sunshine 60 that I knew the truth of my emotion…that I knew that I had, little by little, fallen in love with you."

"If that is true then why did you act on Hokuto-chan's Jitsu?"

"Though the 'Kamui' of the Dragons of Earth had told me that your wish was not what I believed, I could not trust those words.

"What else could you wish of me other than my death and vengeance for your sister's murder?"

"So much more than you had believed…" He remarks, the words bitter.

"I want to understand this time, Subaru-kun…I want…"

"It does not matter what you want." The older man remarks, a power in his voice which could only be the ice cold impassiveness of the sakura.

"You said yourself that you are not Seishiro-san, Tenshi, thus you should worry only of Tenshi's concerns."

"But you are my concern, Subaru-kun, for I love you…"

"You need not again repeat that foolishness." Subaru remarks as he turns away from him, his body moving in a stiff hesitancy that speaks of his having a bruised spine rather than the broken one upon which he had been admitted.

"Would you have me lie, Subaru-kun?"

"No… I would rather that we had never fallen into one another's company again.

"I would rather that I had been left with nothing but my right eye with which to recall you."

"What shall you do now that is not the case? Now that I am here again at your side?"

"I should kill you…indeed that had been my intent on the Rainbow Bridge and yet you may yet prove useful in my current task…"

"Then you would have me as a pawn?"

"You sound hurt, Tenshi-kun and yet I can not understand why. You understand better than anyone else the nature of what I am."

"I understand very little, Subaru-kun…I have told you already that my recollection of that time is flimsy at best and of the nature of the Sakurazukamori I comprehend nothing.

"Thus I have a right to be hurt by your dismissal of our friendship."

"There was no friendship…everything you have learned of me in these past few days has been an illusion, Tenshi."

"Why? Why pretend to be my friend? Why welcome me into your home when it was as risking the exposure of your secret?"

There is a long silence and Tenshi believes that he has pushed too far, that he shall never now learn all that he wishes to of the true face of Sakurazukamori Subaru.

Then the older man turns to face him, an oddly melancholic look in his face.

"Because for a while I forgot myself and I had a want to believe that you were Seishiro-san…a want to forget that the incident on The Rainbow Bridge ever occurred…

"It was silly, I knew that and yet as with the discarding of my memories of Hokuto-chan, I found that I could not let it go…that even when I knew that you may prove a worthwhile pawn, I could not separate you…

"Could not see beyond your similarity to the man that I had loved until the moment that my heart was torn from me.

"Even now…" He raises a hand to tangle amid Tenshi's hair and he smiles just a little.

"Even now, I can not divide you in my mind and the confusion is tearing at me.

"Onitsuka Tenshi is simply a boy and though he is intoxicating and brings me contentment I could not claim myself in love with him.

"Sakurazuka Seishiro was the very definition of my life and I loved him with my every breath.

"Tenshi is a useful pawn and can be discarded once that use has passed…Seishiro can not die…not again…I would gladly give my life to stop such an occurrence."

He reaches to touch the older man's face and he leans in to steal a kiss before he remarks,

"There is not enough of Seishrio left within me that I am worthy of such salvation, Subaru-kun."

"Yet there is enough that you can not die, Tenshi-kun…just as, once, this eye was enough to keep me alive." He remarks as he leases his hold on the boy and touches his one brown eye.

"Subaru-kun, are you implying that you wish now to die?"

"I have never stopped wishing for such a thing, it is more that now I _can_ die."

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T: Two more chapters to go! Umm a little niggle here, I'm not sure as to whether our two lovelies do meet again at Nago Sun, was simply the first name that came to my head and as I am still without X (SOB) I've made a leap of faith! R+R to let me know if I'm wrong, every criticism is an improvement waiting to happen!


	12. Understanding Compromise

12. Understanding compromise.

T: Beware the cliff-hanger…is all I am going to say! Not mine, darn, warnings the same, yay!

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He had not had the fortitude to remain at Subaru's side after such a confession.

Thus he had gone alone to the older man's home and after a little while sat in the living room he had come to sit in Subaru's bedroom.

The smell of the older man was everywhere here, a heady scent that he recalled well from his memories and lacking now the acidic scent of cigarette smoke that had tainted it the last he had smelt it.

He finds a half smoked packet of mild sevens in Subaru's top draw, a pair of broken glasses balanced carefully on top of them.

Curious he continues to look through the draws until he finds a photo album buried beneath the socks in the third draw down.

It is a black thing coated in multi faceted sequins that betray it as a thing from before the conclusion of The Bet.

He flicks through the pictures, marvelling at the almost intrusive quality of some of the shots.

Most at the front half of the album are of the twins, one of Hokuto's hands always out of shot, most likely holding the camera.

There are a few here and there of Subaru sleeping or laughing to someone just out of the camera's view.

Then there came a group of empty pages, dark rectangles on the paper marking where once photos had adorned the space.

After this came varying pictures of the seals…

In this half of the album shots of Subaru were rarer, as though he wished now to erase the memory of himself from all but one persons mind.

Always in these photos he had the same empty expression, as though there was a wall now between the world and his emotions…

Always, that was, but for one shot.

Subaru stands tense, as though he had been instructed to pose for the camera and yet…

There was an edge of the normal to the way in which he was sheltering the fragile boy who stood with him.

Something a little more than brotherly in the look of the other boy's eye and the manner in which he pressed into the one armed embrace.

They looked right together, the boy fey and fragile; Subaru elfin and confidently strong.

Yet it is the faint smile on Subaru's lips that sparks the jealousy in him, the heat of this emotion somehow familiar to him.

He believes this the last photo and yet as he places the thing back into the draw one clatters onto his lap.

The twins are smiling brightly, Hokuto hugging hard to her brother and Subaru blushing in a beautiful fashion.

A little behind them stands an image of the man that he will on day become and yet Tenshi recognises little of himself in this individual.

"Who are you?" he enquires as he touches the face of his 'other self' "I wish that I knew so that I might understand Subaru-kun better…might understand what it was that you did to him and why…"

He places the photo back into the album and after burying the thing back under Subaru's socks he moves through the house and out into Ueno.

As with the last time he had come to this place he feels drawn to one tree in particular; a giant of a thing that somehow seemed more than it looked.

He sets a hand to the trunk and his eyes sliding closed he enquires,

"Are you _his_ tree?"

There is a moment without response and then the air about him grows tepid and a voice so very akin to his own enquires,

_'Who are you?'_

Opening his eyes out he is met with the visage of the man he had seen in the photo, though this individual was both clearly blind and all but see through.

"What are you?" He enquires, unsure, as yet, how to respond to the things own enquiry.

It smiles and reaching to touch his heart it replies,

_'I am the missing piece of your spirit, child.'_

"I do not understand."

_'Nor should you, for you are neither Onmyoji nor Sakurazukamori in this life.'_ The thing begins to fade completely and panicked into action he enquires,

"Can you not tell me?"

_'No, because you have no need of the information and because my current master has no wish for you to come any closer to him.'_

"Yet if you do not speak he shall die."

_'All my masters die, child, such is the natural order of my succession and my current is of no special significance that I shall grieve his passing.'_

"How can you be so cold? He has given over the heart of himself to see you survive and you would toss him aside as a used napkin."

_'I am simply a tree at heart, child, thus I do not comprehend emotion nor hold to sentimentalities._

_'It is true that my current master has lost much on his journey to become worthy of holding my power and yet his suffering was not at my hand but the hand of his predecessor.'_

"Yet why did he do those things? Why did he continue to shut Subaru away even after he knew that he loved him?"

_'Why does any human do anything?' _The thing enquires before it fades away at last.

He considers the answer to this enquiry as he walks to the hospital and once he has been informed that Subaru has gone, he returns back to the man's home, the enquiry still upon his mind.

A note sits on the coffee table and desperate to know where Subaru has gone and why he has left he reaches for it.

_'Tenshi,_

_ Do not chase me and do not pursue the thought of bringing peace once more into my life._

_I have made a choice and I shall stand by it no matter the repercussions…Bid your farewell to Usagi-san before it becomes too late…_

_ Subaru.'_

He phones Chihiro as the note had recommended and then he folds himself into the covers of Subaru's bed and waits in the hope that the other shall return to him.

……………………………………………………………………………..

He places his hand against the tree and relaxes himself until he feels the change in temperature and then he opens his eyes.

_'You have come to me with a purpose.'_

"Yes, I wish you to take my life."

_'Such a thing is not possible. The one who kills you has to be the one whom you love the most, thus ensuring the beginnings of their envelopment into the emptiness of the role.'_

"Yet the one that I loved truly is dead."

_'He was dead and now he has been re-born anew.'_

"That child is not Seishiro…not completely."

_'Not completely, no, and yet it is enough that you could love him if you allowed yourself.'_

"Then what? Tenshi shall kill me and become Sakurazukamori and the cycle would begin again…I can not allow that."

_'It is as it is; there can be no other way.'_

He ponders this a moment and then remarks,

"But there is." Before he begins to detail his idea to the spectre of the tree.

_'It is a risk.'_ The thing remarks one he has concluded.

"Is it not always as such?"

_'True.'_

There is a white heat in his limbs then and has time enough to register the razor sharp branches protruding through his skin before his life fails him at last.

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T: …don't kill me! R+R and remember there is one last chapter to go!


	13. Repetition

13. Repetition.

T: Heh, not even my beta (The wonderful Silver Salamander) liked me for that last chapter…nope I'm not going to comfort you, you'll have to read on! Not mine and warnings remain the same.

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The reporter stands in her suit, speaking solemnly to the camera.

'Today marks the 7th anniversary of the great fire that swept through the Nihjo Corporation and the birth of the Usagi foundation that was formed shortly after the tragedy of that day.

Kishu-san, could you remind us why this tragedy inspired you enough to form this foundation?'

"Turn that dribble off, Tenshi-kun."

"Any one would think that you're shy that you're going main stream, Sorata-san." Tenshi remarks as he leans forward to switch the set off.

"You're a barrel load of laughs, you know that!" Sorata replied, the rebuttal all but half hearted.

Tenshi smiled a little to himself and glancing to Sorata out of the corner of his eye thanks again the good luck that had brought him to find the older boy.

He had spent three nights waiting and hoping that Subaru would return to him, then once he had tired of waiting he had gone to do some research.

It had been the photo of Subaru with the violet eyed teen that had provided him with his greatest lead and after talking to the eldest son of an Imonoyama Noruko he had been pointed in the direction of Arashi Kishu.

He had known simply for her reaction to his face that she too had met his previous self and realising that the back story was unnecessary he had jumped straight in at the deep end.

Arashi had told him a great deal of how the other 'seals' had viewed Subaru and of their opinion on his 'relationship' with his previous self.

She had, however, been unable to tell him much of Subaru himself, finding as Tenshi had that the man was very guarded about his emotions and vulnerabilities.

He had, if the truth be known, been a little disappointed at coming again to a dead end and yet once he had been introduced to Arashi's overly energetic son any regret he might have had about making contact had been lost.

Sorata was…intense…so much so that simply by being at Tenshi's side he inspired him to let it go and continue his search.

They had become firm friends and it was only once Sorata brought up the topic of the fire and the change it had made in his life that Tenshi had felt just a little itchy.

As with the rest of Tokyo Sorata had watched the Nihjo Corporation falling…had watched as the flames caught onto other buildings and the fire crews had battled to save what lives they could.

He had listened as the names of the four fatalities of the disaster had been read out and had wondered about who these people were…what legacy they had left to this world.

He had learned that Usagi Chihiro had been researching into a permanent solution to child fatalities…learned that she had plunged a sum of her savings into a company that was designing a revolutionary drug to find and cure genetic defaults in young children.

So inspired had he been by the work of this company that he had phoned their leader and after a long conversation had set up the Usagi trust.

Tenshi had not had the heart to inform Sorata that Chihiro was only giving money to the company because they had been blackmailing her in some fashion or another and that her 'research' had been done to cover over her continued payments to the company as a charitable thing.

Instead he had allowed his friend to maintain his illusion of Chihiro and told his first and only outright lie to the older boy.

"We need chocolate again, Tenshi-kun." Sorata remarks, the random comment successfully squashing the black mood that Tenshi had just begun to descend into.

"I have told you before and I shall tell you again cocoa is not a necessary study aid."

"Mou, you are sounding like my mother again!" The older boy remarks as he pushes himself out of the little book nest he had created in the kitchen and comes to kneel at Tenshi's side. "Please, Tenshi-kun, one bar can not hurt me and I can not simply conjure A grades out of thin air like you can!"

Aware that he is going to lose this argument one way or another he admits defeat while Sorata still has his dignity and standing enquires,

"Am I buying you brand name or are you living on a shoe string again?"

The older boy flicks through his wallet and drawing out a handful of notes remarks,

"I can afford brand name this week it seems." As he hands his money to Tenshi.

Once he has purchased the all important chocolate he takes the longer route back to the house, enjoying the residual of the magical Christmas feeling in the air.

He is humming some random tune and has stopped before a window that is displaying already the traditional pinks and red of Valentines Day, when he spots him,

For a moment he believes it a trick of his eye, for the individual that has so caught his attention can be no more than 16 years of age, then the child turns a little so that he can see his eyes…

…Though they are both now a vibrant emerald there is no mistaking the pure soul shining through from within them.

His hear ceasing in his chest he sucks in a breath and yells out,

"Subaru-kun!"

The child starts and then a wide smile catches onto his lips,

"Tenshi-san." He responds, his voice a sweet open harmonic that sparks a tender fondness somewhere deep within him.

"Why are you so young and why have you not tried to find me?"

"Both are connected and neither are things we should discuss here."

"Then let us go to Ueno."

It makes sense, of course, every moment of significance having revolved around the park and the tree.

They are alone, something that he knows can only be the trees work and he decides not to question why it is aiding him when before it had treated him as nothing but dirt.

"I died." Subaru remarks after a moment, a smile still on his lips despite the grimness of the subject, "The tree and I came to an understanding and it killed me."

"Why?"

"Because either it killed me or you would and I could not bare the thought of you being trapped again within its spell."

"If you died then how are you 16 already, indeed why do you still have your memories when I can barely recall anything?"

"It was part of my bargain with the tree. Usually once the Sakurazukamori dies the tree takes the part of them that was tied to it so that if they are born again they recall only a little of their time as that individual.

"This assures that the sakura remains secure and that it passes through a new individual each time.

"You should not have been my successor, for such a thing is against the rules and yet I threw the tree rather out of sync."

"Because you loved Seishiro?"

"Yes."

"What did you offer the tree?"

"Freedom."

"Do you care to elaborate?"

"Even if I tried you wouldn't understand, as your link to the tree was severed long ago."

"Then will you tell me how you are 16 when only seven years have passed?"

"The tree exists in its own reality…its own time…simply put I asked it to keep me there until I was older and then return me to your world.

"That is why I have not come looking for you Tenshi…that and I was a little afraid that you would not care for me."

Tenshi breaks into a gentle laughter and once he has kissed Subaru thoroughly he informs the boy,

"I have never stopped, Subaru."

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T: To be completely honest I'm not sure I know what Subaru did…considering how, conniving, tree-san can be I'm not really sure I want to know. Everything else here is simply me brain storming through Subaru thus it's a little confusing…forgive me? R+R I really want to know your opinion…really!


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